a gift guide for real humans
lil treats for you, your girl and your mom. maybe a little rnr.  
FEBRUARY 2024
PUFF PUFF
Large Quilted Puffer Tote Bag

Puffy bag! The girlies be loving this one right now.  She can carry her stuff in it.  It’s puffy, it’s cute, it can hold a 13in macbook, it comes with a shoulder strap.  We think it’s cute just like your mom. (Def more a girlfriend gift, could be a bit young for your mom.) BUY NOW!
Quilted Puffer Tote Bag
LIGHT THERAPY
Philips Hue Lights Gents she doesn’t even know she wants this one but we swear by it.  It’s quite literally light therapy.  If she questions it just explain it’s the gift of dopamine and seratonin.  Philips Hue Lights are all controllable via app, can all connect together, can sync with music, tv & home.  It’s a vibe gift and a sturdy price point.
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Philips Hue Smart Lights + Bridge
D.I.L.F
Damn, I Love Frogs DILF; need we say more.  It’s kissing frogs salt/pep set, wait royal* frogs, even better.  Purple and green in color and 2 little crowns. 
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Royal Kissing Frogs S/P
SCOPIO SZN
Bolo TieBecause why knot add a little sting to your style? Crafted with love, lust and a dash of daring, this accessory is perfect for those who like to keep things sharp. Let this scorpion hang around your neck and watch as your fashion game becomes the talk of the ranch wedding. It's the only tie that's guaranteed to have everyone buzzing.BUY NOW!
Handmade Scorpion Bolo Tie
GIVE IN
Quencher H2.0 Just buy her another one.  And then when you see she doesn’t have one that matches her new favorite outfit, buy her one in Chambray.  Better ROI than your Robin Hood account, by a mile. 

Like your soccer participation trophy or the impulse tattoo of your uni logo, it’s a “momento of an idyllic time”. And don’t fret, Stanley too will fade into the sunset on the American Water Vessel landscape and a new victor will be crowned but for now he reigns supreme and salutes the likes of Nalgene, Tervis, & HydroFlask who are left to collect dust high on the shelf.


Work Cited
Gullman, Gary. The Great Depresh, 24 June 2022
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Stanley Quencher H2.0 FlowState Stainless Steel Vacuum Insulated Tumbler with Lid and Straw
SWEET HEAT
Mike’s Hot HoneyIt’s honey, but it’s hot.  Put it on pizza or on anything else.  And Mike makes it.  He started making it when he worked in Brooklyn Pizzerias and now he’s the top hot honey in the Americas.    BUY NOW!
Mike's Hot Honey
Gluten-Free Honey Infused with Chili Peppers
CREAMY CREAM
CeraVe Cream by Michael CeraIt’s CeraVe.  Get hydrated without the hassle with CeraVe Moisturizing Cream. Packed with hyaluronic acid, ceramides, and MVE technology, it's like a spa day for your skin. Say goodbye to dry, flaky skin and hello to velvety smoothness. Plus, it's dermatologist and Michael Cera developed, so you can trust it's the real deal.BUY NOW!
CeraVe Moisturizing Cream by Michael Cera
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momentos of an idyllic time
(Gary Gullman)